I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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