If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
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There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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