looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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