I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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