im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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