just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
