I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
