we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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