I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My ATM looks so different sober.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize