Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
