The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
