guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
