Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
