Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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