R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
