Swine flu is the new snow day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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