I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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