eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
