remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just cropdusted the office
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
