he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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