it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
