just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
did you just send me my own nude
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
