I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
