They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
