So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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