TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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