Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
