Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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