had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
