ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
