They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
