He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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