just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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