i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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