His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.