just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm passing your future prison.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
