turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
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Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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