Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  or abortion recommendation cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards? (405): or abortion recommendation cards. http://tfl.nu/knt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1142) Bad night (3225)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car. http://tfl.nu/v5pu
  Replies (31) Good night (1236) Bad night (7650)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there http://tfl.nu/icqv
  Replies (36) Good night (769) Bad night (9578)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/mtdi
  Replies (6) Good night (3088) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s
  Replies (20) Good night (6500) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am http://tfl.nu/8pmq
  Replies (16) Good night (805) Bad night (3014)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  how was ur day?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): how was ur day? (405): this is strictly sexting don't make small talk. http://tfl.nu/95h7
  Replies (13) Good night (6448) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material. http://tfl.nu/ut5k
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my credit cards need to be pressure washed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): All my credit cards need to be pressure washed http://tfl.nu/kgeq
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too. http://tfl.nu/4mqk
  Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys. http://tfl.nu/070i
  Replies (6) Good night (1217) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show http://tfl.nu/uyql
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us. http://tfl.nu/uocw
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"? http://tfl.nu/ki2a
  Replies (10) Good night (783) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow. http://tfl.nu/lb44
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (342)

Randomize