Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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