Having a random hookup so left but love u
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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