addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
