so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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