just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
