Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Fuck appropriateness.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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