Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
