do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
