your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
