my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
