She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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