I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
