He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's no shave November. This is our time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
