i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
