So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize