Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
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OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS