with your own penis?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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