so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
