Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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