I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
