I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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