u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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