so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
