remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
