Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize