WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
