don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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